Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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