3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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