i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
