so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
