Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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