oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
