Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize