Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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