"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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