I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize