this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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