yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
