he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
