i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
