I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He felt like a one man threesome
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
