I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
