wanna go halves on a baby?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Randomize
