5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
