I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
