AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
This couple is walking their pig around campus
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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