I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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