She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
