I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
