What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
