so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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