we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
