you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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