Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
