the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
