I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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