If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
