Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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