im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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