That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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