Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
