break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
