maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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