If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
