just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
