You made me cry and you don't even care
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
