So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize