i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
