I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
