Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
