you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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