so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
