hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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