I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
