I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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