i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
