But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
