the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
