Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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