How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is my gift to your gina
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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