I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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