your thong is hanging out like whoa
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
