you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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