So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
