Pants 0. Shit 1.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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