The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Be still, my beating vagina.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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